but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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