we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
