I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
