Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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