Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
