The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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