You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize