I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
This house was built for laser tag.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
