it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
