At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
