I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
