That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
