Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
