you guys were way drunker than both of me
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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