so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
