is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Randomize