sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
