i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
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