I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
