I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
