I puked a lego.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
