We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
