You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
