Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
