I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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