Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
