put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
