She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
