That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
