I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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