I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Are we still banned from the library?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
