just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
