I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize