Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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