Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
