the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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