Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
