do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
