I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
