You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
