we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
