Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
