If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
time to smoke my breakfast
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
