it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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