Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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