Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
