I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
