im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
