And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
