i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
