I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
