Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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