I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
