i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
