I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it hurts more in the daytime
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
