you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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