I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF ITβLL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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