Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
