Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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